America’s kinda stupid, guys. But you knew that already. Look at you, what with your tumblr and your tweets and your Cat Fancy iPad app. You’re set. No ignorance here.
But what of the rest of us? What is this quarter of the country that is consistently and willfully retarded? It’s reassuring to know, as the article notes, that they’ve been here forever. Like how the Native Americans were slaughtered because they couldn’t produce valid birth certificates, and Lincoln was shot for being Muslim, and George W. Bush was president. It was bearable back then, though, because they just went ahead and did their dumb things without blabbering on about them. Like if cats could explain their platform of pouncing on things and generally being adorable to a mass audience everyday, we’d want them to shut up and get back to just making us lol. Metaphors are like flowers.
Anyways, enjoy this Japandroids cover. Back to Hungover Owls with you!