October 2009
13 posts
WatchYou know what? Why NOT drink box wine out of a can? We certainly like our prejudices in this country, but the stigma against box wine (and drinking it out of a can in particular) is entirely unfounded. Let’s go through some of the contributing factors to this stigma and refute them, one by one:
Box wine is cheap. This is a negative? Have you had box wine? It’s delicious. I’d pay...
We have too many seriously lame holidays in this country. Columbus Day? The man was a pompous tyrant who still thought he had landed in Asia until his dying day. Arbor Day, are you kidding me? President’s Day? Presidents Shmesidents. Christmas? OK we can keep Christmas.
I propose, as Secretary of Holidays, that we get rid of these offenders and replace them with a select number of weather...
WatchA few days ago, I found myself walking a few yards behind someone with an apparent right angle complex. The girl, capped with an impressive Jan Brady swinging ponytail, would walk in only perfectly straight lines. When changing direction, she would stop, turn in place ninety degrees, and continue on in a straight path. Naturally, this led me to believe she was French Canadian.
I have witnessed...
Naps freak me out. When I was three I told my mom...
WatchJay Leno is the worst. He is heinously unfunny in such a boring, “aww shucks I’m just a smirky everyman with a museum full of cars” way it is all anyone can do to not claw violently at their TV sets when he comes on (I’m assuming it’s the same for everyone). But this is old news. You know this. Everyone knows this.
But did you also know, dear reader, that Jay also...
